My Autobiography – My first Crush

lossy-page1-376px-Unidentified_boy_and_girl_-_NARA_-_297696.tifShe was not beautiful (I have never liked beautiful looking girls). She was just normal. More importantly, she was studious and serious about life.

Just like me.

I guess that’s what attracted me towards her. But at the age of 10 (I was in 5th Standard back then), one doesn’t really have the time/patience to admire a person from the opposite sex. There are just too many distractions like cricket, football, story books, indoor games, songs, etc.

Besides, girls sitting next to me were always talking boring stuff. Boring for us, guys. There was no reason/pretense of ‘liking’ someone, especially for me.

But still somehow I developed a crush on one girl studying in my class and whenever I saw her, there was some kind of a spark in my mind. I am sure my eyes and smile should have quite openly suggested my admiration but since we were too young, no one could have suspected anything like that.

My school had a strange custom of celebrating Rakshabandhan (Of all things!). On that day, all guys are given a rakhi and they need to turn around and tie it to the girl behind. Girls were standing one row behind us. That year, when they gave a rakhi, I feverishly hoped that this girl would not stand behind me. I was even ready to change places. But fortunately, someone else was standing there and things went smoothly. For the school administration, I mean.

Once, our English teacher divided us into groups and there was one group leader and three students under this group leader. We were supposed to memorize some English words/their meanings and the group leader would test us with some words, whose meanings we were supposed to tell them.

By some luck, me and she were in the same group. Even though both of us were good at studies, she was made our group leader for the reasons mentioned here. I should have gone overboard and memorized all the words and meanings quite throughly, I guess. After all, how many chances did I get to talk to her?

Anyway she was going to ask me the meanings, but still I fumbled trying to develop a conversation.

“So, what are we supposed to do?”


“I mean, I am supposed to tell the meanings to you, is it?


“Then you’ll send me to the teacher, is it?”


The brevity. I loved it!

I should have told all the meanings correctly, I guess. Because, when she was asking the next guy in the group and he was not able to recollect some words/meanings, she said (rather firmly),

‘I am going to send only him (pointing towards me) to the teacher. Go read everything properly and come’.

The authority. I loved it!

Wait a minute, did she just praise me? I should have been in cloud 9!!!

There was another instance (next year) when six students were supposed to be selected from our class for singing in some event. People who were interested were asked to come in front of the class and sing something. She sang, ‘Yamunai aatrile, eera kaatrile…’ . Needless to say, I was impressed to the hilt! 🙂

Five girls (including her) got selected. Then the teacher told the class that she wanted at least one boy. None of the guys were interested in coming in front of the class and singing. I was telling myself, ‘C’mon go sing, go sing!’. But even back then I didn’t have a good opinion about my own singing.

Somehow, I mustered all the courage and sang the first paragraph of the song, ‘Thuliyile aadavandha’ slowly. Very slowly. I am sure even the first bencher’s were not able to hear it! But since I was the only participant in that intense(!) competition between guys, the teacher had no option. I was selected.

We had some practice sessions. I mean, just the six of us. I guess I was moving my lips and never really sang anything! Or maybe I would have kept a low voice. Obviously, I did not want to get embarrassed in front of her.

During these practice sessions, the other girls were talking to me occasionally (I mean, casually, we were in 6th standard!). But this girl never spoke to me. Even once!

The attitude. I loved it!

Sometimes I prefer to think maybe, just maybe, she also had some feelings for me? I mean, that’s why I found it so difficult to go and talk to her as well, right?

The next year, I went to a different school. I became normal, happy, playful and cheerful myself once again 😀 😛 😀

Destination Infinity

PS: Obviously it’s not me in the photo. Don’t credit yourself as an Edison for discovering that! 🙂 It’s some copyright expired photo.


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